Thursday, 17th June 2021

This Month's Magazine
Eat your Porridge!

Eat your Porridge!

As if prison wasn’t soul destroying enough; some poor criminals are made to share a cell with Marbella town council!

Apparently the ex Marbella council are having varying degrees of success adapting to their new residence.

According to reports, disgraced Town Planning consultant, Juan Antonia Roca (Don’t they also make toilets?) and his “bitch”, ex deputy mayor, Isabel GarcĂ­a Marcos are right at home among the Homies, so much so that it has been whispered that Señor Roca is being called Daddy by a few of his closer inmate “Friends” and Señora Marcos is someone to be reckoned with in the Laundry.

Prison boss Angel Herbella considers Roca’s behaviour as Normal and, the fact that he was described as the brains behind the corruption, means that he will probably have an easy ride whilst inside.


Roca has already been seen handing around Snout and freely giving advice to the other inmates as to what to do with their grannies Finca once back on the outside. Roca also spends a lot of time reading and has requested newspapers and novels; when asked what sort of books Roca preferred, Ángel Herbella, stated that “His tastes are quite diverse, although he has read Papillion seven times”.

Isabel García Marcos, described as extroverted and “Of strong character”, has also adapted to life as an inmate quite well and according to Herbella has the other women prisoners licked.

One person however to whom prison life is becoming increasingly difficult is ex Mayor YagĂŒe, in spite of the fact that she is sharing a cell with her former deputy Isabel GarcĂ­a Marcos. YagĂŒe has been described as introvert and someone who considers herself innocent.

The situation hasn’t been helped by the fact that Marcos has become new Bestest friends with disgraced Lawyer Montserrat Corulla and the pair have been increasingly excluding YagĂŒe from their shared activities. Grasses on their wing have recently reported seeing Marcos and Corulla exchanging nail varnish without inviting YagĂŒe along and even more distressing are reports of a planned “Sleep over” excluding YagĂŒe  altogether.

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