Sunday, 20th June 2021

This Month's Magazine
What Fashion Sense

What Fashion Sense

Now I can fully appreciate that we are all different, and there are those less fortunate than myself (being blessed as I am with exquisite taste) who may look forward to shedding their winter coat with trepidation.

Fashion sense, or should I say that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ is something we are born with and it is not given to every individual to instinctively know what is right.

Let’s take the British, for example, now there is no other race on god’s earth with such an inflated opinion of themselves and every far flung corner of the world has at least one little colony of Brits, who for some reason think it is their moral duty to tell Johnny foreigner how to run his country.

The bigoted opinions of such fellows are all encompassing and the Brit abroad wastes no time in voicing (loudly) all the faults of the country he has chosen to invade. This would be all well and good if Englishmen abroad were all like James Bond. But no, instead you will have a 40+ year old, with a professional beer belly, wearing an England shirt and a pair of Asda jeans!



I can only think that such men, or even women come to that, either have no mirrors in their homes or they are in possession of a magic mirror. This wearing of football shirts by anybody over the age of, let’s say six years old, is not only embarrassing to well-adjusted English folk living in a foreign country, it is also an indication of a certain lack of self-identity by the wearer and a need to run with a pack, shows absence of confidence as an individual.

The same can be said for designer labels and sportswear with giant logos splashed all over them, the only message these are giving out, is that you don’t have any personal preference and that you probably drive a mid-priced Ford.

Love them or loath them, the elder members of the British royal family are blessed with superb taste, this does of course come from centuries of platinum credit cards and a lifetime of driving around in Bentleys, but the fact remains, you will never see QE2 sporting a nylon Bradford city shirt!

It is not just the British male who shuffles around like a scruffy y b*****d, English women are just as bad as their Geezers and what you see is what you are always going to get from women who spend a lifetime of worship at the temple of Burberry. Perhaps I am being a little hard by just singling out the Brits, every country has its fashion victims after all; so let’s have a roundup of some of the others.

Americans are still the world’s biggest wearers of Crimplene, so much so in fact, that if the whole of America were to get undressed at the same time, they would generate enough static electricity to fire up New York for a couple of months. The French are never truly happy unless they are dressed up like a bar code. The Australians live in sandals all year, because they don’t make shoes wide enough to accommodate their web feet. The Germans all dress like the Walton’s. The Italians wear everything in their wardrobe at the same time; and as for the Spanish, well, let’s not even go there!

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