Sunday, 17th November 2019
ENTERTAINMENT Article
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This Month's Magazine

Virtual Humour

Just a few items for a giggle. Don't miss on the Quiz, you could win a nice meal for two.

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother.
“I can’t read, I can’t write - and they won’t let me talk!”.

Billy & Tommy, two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy.
Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”
“Honest?” asked Billy.
“No, just the usual kind”, replied Tommy.


Q: What’s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A: When a golfer lies he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it!

                

A few proverbs written for modern days:

  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
  • Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
  • Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.
  • I have a twin brother; he’s identical, but I’m not.
  • An oral contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Crime doesn’t pay... Does that mean my job is a crime?


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THE QUIZ - WHO AM I?

Name this person and WIN a meal for 2 (Value €50) at Restaurante El Barlovento, now moved to Hotel las Camelias, in Torreguadiaro, at entrance to Puerto Sotogrande. Fax: 952 893 146 or e-mail editor@webexpressguide.com by 4th April. The first correct answer to be drawn will be the winner.

I was born in 1922 at Beaufort West, and received an M.D. degree from the University of Cape Town in 1953 and a Ph.D. degree from the University of Minnesota in 1958. Returning to the University of Cape Town in 1958 to teach surgery I specialised in open-heart surgery and in designing artificial heart valves. On December 3, 1967, I performed a human heart transplant, transferring the heart of a 25-year-old woman into the body of Louis Washkansky, a 55-year-old grocer; Washkansky died 18 days later. The second transplant, on January 2, 1968, was for Philip Blaiberg, who lived for 563 days after the operation.  I passed away in my beloved island of Cyprus in which I spent many happy times.

Last month’s winner was:  M/s Isy Valencia



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