Wednesday, 1st April 2020

This Month's Magazine
Where does charity begin

Where does charity begin

Don’t get me wrong, I think that fundraising for charity is a great thing and there are commendable people and organisations truly dedicated to this magnanimous activity. But…

There are many collections for animals’ protection, illness cures and prevention, old age poverty and so on; this is all good. But what is it with all these events that constantly go on up and down the Coast on a regular basis? Can you really call them charities? Not long passes before a singer groups together with anyone at all to bring out a… charity disc! As far as I can see this is more of a self promotion than charity and after more than a year of trying he should give it up.

Obviously nobody wants to buy the record and he’ll probably never be a proper singer. Of course we must not ignore the people who organise all these so called charity events. They seem to dedicate their whole life to it. What would they do without charities? Ah! Have we all heard about the master of charity events, Mr Maurice Boland? The man who really did give a lot of himself to charities and shows such as the ‘Wow’
factor? What a guy! Well we do know and have read about what happened with him.

Every now and then you read about a charity event where hundreds of people turn up to raise about €1000. How sad is this? I am sure that if all those people searched down the back of their sofas for spare change they could have raised a lot more money. Perhaps ex charity fund raisers.

And here’s another thing. How come all the people sitting outside supermarkets begging for food and money are so fat? It doesn’t make sense. And how come all these great singers I never heard of have never had a hit record? Oh! I know! They’re c..p, that’s why!

When a club or a restaurant have a charity event held there and the guests pay, say €30  per person for a 3 courses meal followed by a charity auction to raise money, why don’t the guests just give the €30 to charity instead of having the meal? As I am sure that the said club or restaurant does not give the food for the meal for free. Surely not! They make money out it, right? May be I am wrong and if I am I am sure somebody will put me right.


An organised meal for a number of persons at a fixed price pays for related costs and probably a profit for the restaurant, surely going without the meal to raise money for starving people would raise a more substantial amount and it would be sort of more appropriate for a charity raising money to help people suffering from hunger. Don’t you think?The funds raised raffling some cheap donated “T” shirts, possibly free advertising material provided by drink or food suppliers, are no longer a charity but a poor excuse to raise funds for other reasons.

Then of course we have the beggars that approach you for money whilst whinging about their poor, hungry children? Apparently it would seem that being penniless is a great cure for impotence.

The moral of the story seems to be that having no food makes you fat and having no money makes you randy, whilst, if you can’t sing,
you should bring out countless charity discs. On the other hand if you are raising money for starving children, go to a restaurant have a 3 course meal.

I really don’t get it, maybe I am sick, and perhaps I’ll go and see if there is a charity to help me get over it.

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