Tuesday, 7th April 2020

This Month's Magazine
Who is the bitch?

Who is the bitch?

Or is she? By the Prickly Pair

It may be the case that life makes you appear as a bitch to people that you have to associate with the truth is that you’d rather appear as a bitch to them because you are obviously a cut (or two) above their level. Well, let’s face it, they are not going to insult you if you consider being called a bitch an insult, which I do not. It’s hard work putting people down with a glance or a comment or both; anyway as I was saying, they are hardly going to try to insult you by calling you a superior being. Are they?

Do I wish to have more friends? Hmm, not exactly! I could easily acquire them if I adjust, but not just slightly. Well for me, anyway. Apparently I should have moved to Spain and immediately know all about and everything Spanish, then I should have made every local English pub my local, instantly befriend absolutely anyone and everyone and add at least 200 new friends
to my Facebook.

Then proceed to add their friends as well so I could also be considered for entry to this not so exclusive club; or I could gain entry if I were an alcoholic or ex alcoholic, or a certain kind of woman of a certain age who likes to hang around ports and karaoke bars even when the normal people have had a pleasant evening and gone home while back stabbing and gossiping behind said friends’ backs.

A bitch like me acquires her name because she would rather call a loser “a loser” to their face. Does this make me a bitch? I don’t think so darling! On the other hand I could, even in this day and age, take in clothes to wash and iron so as to have friends and everybody could look down on me as I’d pose no threat, or so they might think. Ever heard of the expression “dirty laundry in public”?


Another way to enlarge your circle of friends, as I suspect, is to join a Forum and by a Forum I don’t mean a properly run business one, I mean a village gossip one. All you need is to make up a name like “bof, fairycake, pie boy, valentine, aloysius ,” or something stupidly similar and spend all your day slagging your friends off in secret, or so you might think. Then if I reply, apparently that would make me a bitch. Hey ho!

This means that in order not to be a bitch, I should stoop down to the required level, have not so many real friends, always keep
my mouth shut even though the club is slagging everyone off left right and centre and smile and chat to all as if I actually give
a damn.

Thanks but no thanks. I think I shall stay in my own club thank you, where I can look at your group as amusement and in amazement. So what if I don’t have so many members? Well, how can I put this without offence? That’s because we bitches are not so common!

Oh! By the way, just to appear an all round nice person, and I said appear, I could do some charity things and then surely everyone would think more of me and no-one could say a bad word about me, while I could say anything I liked; well let me dispel that rumour considering you probably have about 500 friends at least on Facebook and maybe 100 business associates as you raised about 300 Euros. That’s sad! In my one and only charity I did raise about 5000 Euros in 1 hour but then I did contact my rich bitch list.

Till next month, keep your friends close.......

Web Express Guide - Andalucia
Business Guide Costa del Sol, Printed Magazine & Directory Costa del Sol, 29692
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