If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, You know, I was a fool when I married you. And the husband replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love and didnt notice it.
A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too but he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, It really works!
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentines Day. What do you think it means?
You shall know tonight, he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted,
she opened it. She found a book entitled The Meaning of Dreams.
Four-year-old Sam loved candy almost as much as his mom Sally did. He and Daddy had given her a beautiful heartshaped box of chocolates for Valentines Day. A few days later Sam was eyeing it, wishing to have a piece of it. As he reached out to touch one of the big pieces, Sally said to him, If you touch it, then you have to eat it. Do you understand?
Oh, yes, he said, nodding his head. Suddenly his little hand patted the tops of all the pieces of candy. Now I can eat them all.
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme
paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heartshaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: BE MINE. The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: Thank you, but its still BE MINE-US.