A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train. A woman upon seeing those 2 cute babies asked the man, Arent they cute, what are their names? The man giving the lady an angry look replied, I dont know. The lady then asked, Are they boys or girls? The man looking angrier than before replied I dont know. The woman then started to scold the man, What kind of a father are you?. The man replied, I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are the 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company.
Two friends: - Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? - Of course! How many people are coming? - Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
You wouldnt sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would you?, asked the cuddling wife. Dont be ridiculous, said the husband. How am I gonna raise a million dollars?
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they wont tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The dad said, Well its what Mommy calls me sometimes.
The little girl screamed to her brother, Dont eat it. Its an asshole!
An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, I just let out a long, silent fart. What
should I do? The husband replies, First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!
IT IS VERY TRUE