Its just too hot to wear clothes today, Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this? To which she replied Probably that I married you for your money.
This guy goes to a whorehouse and says to the Madam, I want to get screwed. The Madam tells him to go up to room #12 and knock on the door. So he walks up to the door, knocks on it, and says, I really want to get screwed, bad! A very sexy voice replies Just slide 20 under the door. So the man slides the 20 under the door and waits... Nothing Happens! He knocks on the door again, and yells out I want to get screwed! The sexy voice behind the door answers, Again?
Two Scottish nuns just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, I heard that the people here actually eat dogs.
Odd, her companion replied, but we might as well do as the Americans do. Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and walked towards it. Two dogs, please, said one. The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped
both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their dogs. The mother superior was first
to open hers, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, What part did you get?
A year after the wifes death the widower marries a sister of her.
His friends asks: - Do you love her as much?
- Not really, but knowing my age I would not dear to have another mother-in-law.