Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, How do these represent Christmas?
Answer... Theyre Carols.
One evening, in a busy bar, a reindeer walked in the door and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender
mixed and poured the drink and accepted the twenty Euros bill from the reindeer.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, You know, I think youre the first reindeer Ive ever seen in
The reindeer looked hard at the pityful change and said, Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices,
Im the last reindeer youll see in here
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, Ill beat him to death. AMEN
Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, Whats the matter now Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer, said Johnny through his tears. Thats not so serious, soothed his mother. I know youre upset, but a big boy like you shouldnt cry at something like that. Why didnt you just laugh? I did! sobbed Johnny.
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, Your first job will be to sweep out the store. But Im a college graduate, the young man replied indignantly. Oh, Im sorry. I didnt realize that, said the manager. Here, give me the broom -- Ill show you how.