A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says I was taught to be thorough. The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says I was taught to be environmentally friendly. The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says I was taught not to piss on my hands.
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, Your first job will be to sweep out the store. But Im a college graduate, the young man replied indignantly. Oh, Im sorry. I didnt realize that, said the manager. Here, give me the broom -- Ill show you how.
A little boy asked his mother: - Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Dont even ask me that, when I remember that party..., youre lucky you dont bark.
You wouldnt sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would you?, asked the cuddling wife. Dont be ridiculous,
said the husband. How am I gonna raise a million dollars?
Husband: Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you? Wife: Is that what I do?