Sunday, 12th July 2020

This Month's Magazine
Virtual Humour

Virtual Humour

A few virtual laughs and jokes on the Costa del Sol

A lady says to the psychiatrist, “I think I might be a nymphomaniac.”
He says, “I’ll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour.”
She says, “How much for all night?”

I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. I called a suicide hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call centre in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
“What I mean,” said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”
The clerk handed him a mirror.

Se encuentran dos amigos y uno le dice al otro:
Fíjate que no es como hacer con mi bisabuelo, él se come las uñas todo el tiempo.
A mi bisabuelo, le pasa igual pero ya le quite esa maña.
Como responde:
¿Amarraste sus manos?
¡Solo escondí sus dientes!

Yo tenía un hermano muy tonto, un día consiguió un trabajo de taxista, y una vez se subió un tipo y le dijo:
Llévame donde hayan muchas mujeres que quieran salir.
Mi hermano lo llevo a cárcel de mujeres.

Una cabrita le dice a sus mama: mama, mama, puedo salir del corral?
-y la mama le dice: beee, beee…

Están un grupo de enfermos mentales adornando un arbolito y uno de ellos dice: me dicen si las luces funcionan.
y el resto contesta: siiiii…nooo…siiii…noooo.





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