Wednesday, 15th July 2020

This Month's Magazine
Go on ! Be a sport!

Go on ! Be a sport!

Paralympics? What for?By the Prickly Pair

Well, the Olympics are now over, and yes well done England, and yes no surprise China won most of the medals, and now starts the muttering: “It must be something they put in their food”, “may be drugs”, “may be they are robots” (I made his one up).

So a very young girl did very, very well in swimming. So what? Are young girls not allowed to be great winners or are they only allowed to be the best singer, best dancer, Miss World... It would be strange if Miss World had to declare anything artificial in or on her body. There would be nothing left to judge.

Now it’s the turn of the Paralympics. You now, those elite people who just want to be treated the same as everyone else. But if so, why were they not in the first round of the Olympics? Does this mean that we could be seeing special obese” people’s Olympics, “anorexic” Olympics, and Olympics for people with anger management issues? (I would buy a ticket for this one).

In a certain Sunday paper, some woman was bleating about deaf people not getting enough recognition. What’s she after? Deaf Olympics? What’s stopping deaf people anyway? As an example, swimmers can’t hear almost anything once in the water surely! Although it might be a bit awkward with the starting pistol. If you are deaf, go for it, I say, put your name down for the next Olympics. Oh! you can’t swim? Not fast enough? Well join the real world, neither can I.

And what’s with the girls throwing balls or hoops around and dancing. What kind of sport is that? Just thought I’d ask.


So back to China. I have my own opinion about why they are so good and that’s because the trainers are allowed to shout at their pupils I expect, or tell them when in practice their performance is s--t. Don’t forget in England they go for non competitive sports so as not to make the useless kids feel bad, and I know; I was partnered with some when I was young. You know the type, their socks would always stay up and their pony tails would stay perfect all day long. Well now you know why they were useless, they never did anything and were pathetic at anything they had to do sport wise. You know what I mean? I mean the ones that always hit the ball up in the air at rounders, yes the ones that were always the last to be picked but always ended up in my team. I have met a couple since and they are still pathetic. Sorry! They still bake great cup cakes and can iron really well (bless).

So if you want to excel at anything don’t get upset when your trainer occasionally shouts at you and says: “that was c—p!”.

Until next time... keep on track!

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