Yes, I came face to face with a lion once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun. What did you do?
What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyes but he slowly came toward me. I moved back, but he kept coming nearer. I had to think fast.
How did you get away? I just left him and passed on to another cage.
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executives wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, ...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring medication. The zoo people couldnt get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmacologist developed an anal suppository. The 10-inch-long, four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard Chocolates in Burlingame. Administering the DAILY medication takes five zoo workers, including one person to distract Calle with treats and one person who wears a full-arm glove.
FIVE people have jobs worse than yours. Now stop complaining and get back to work!
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybodys job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldnt do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. What are you doing? She asked. Hunting Flies He responded.
Oh! Killed any? She asked. Yep, 3 males, 2 Females, he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. How can you tell? He responded, 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone"