Tuesday, 7th April 2020

This Month's Magazine
Is there life in 'Marbs'? ask the Prickly Pair

Is there life in 'Marbs'? ask the Prickly Pair

There have also been sightings of strange beings seen wandering around Marbella

These almost human like beings can be identified by their strange orange tinged skin, the fact that they are adorned with various strange shiny objects and that they communicate in their strange sounding mother tongue. When approached and questioned, they tend to tilt their heads back at a weird angle with their mouths slightly open, as if having trouble understanding human language.

But this is not a new phenomenon, a few years back one of these beings was spotted asfar afield as Sotogrande wandering around the polo fields and going by the name of Jordan; although dressed as a normal human being, she did have the typical orange skin colour, was adorned by many shining objects now known to be made of metal and rocks called bling and spoke in the same alien type language.

Another strange trait seems to be the disproportioned shape of these beings, especially the female of the species, it’s almost as if they are human based but with many artificial appendages like, for instance, unusually large busts, added hair extensions and added large lashes over the eyes. As we speak, scientists are looking into the possibility that these beings are proof of life on other planets.

Still these strange sightings should not surprise us as George Orwell predicted this in his quotes namely in “1984”. Word for word, he wrote “The ideal set up by the party was something huge, terrible and glittering. Three hundred million people, all with the same face, when finally you surrender it will be of your own free will. Ignorance is strength. There shall be no love except that love of BIG BROTHER”. No art except vajazzle. No literature only facebook and twitter. No science only the tanning booth.”

Ok I made up the Facebook, twitter, vajazzle and tanning booth, but the Big Brother is true, the no art no Literature and science bit is stated in his writings.

These people seem to be quite harmless and Marbella is known to these beings as “Marbs” which seems to have become a gathering place for them. They seem quite comfortable to fit in there and even mingle with the locals. This appears to be a great idea until you think ahead like Orwell did all those years ago, we are already seeing places for their body art suddenly appearing and popping up known as “vajazzle” salons.

Apparently some humans begin to think nothing of entering these places and appearing hours later covered in “vajazzle” body art, taking on the strange orange glow and speaking with a strange accent. When approached or questioned asked about this slow attempted transformation they will only reply with something sounding like “shuuup or whaever”.



*I have my own theory; the answer is in the strange designs of the body art, if we can unlock these designs a bit like the hieroglyphics of ancient Egypt, we may find out a lot more about these strange creatures.

I think they will be a disaster for mankind or Marbella anyway as when transformation is complete Marbella will never be back to normal again.

I am afraid that in the future there might be no intelligent human beings be left in Marbella or any who will choose Marbella as an upper-class holiday destination.

Let’s not forget that in December we have the Mayan calendar prediction. Maybe this is telling us that Marbella will be taken over by towies gathering for a Christmas special of “The Only Way is Essex”.

Now I know why the being known as Jordan has not been encouraged to return to Sotogrande, do they know something we don’t?

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