Sunday, 19th November 2017
THE PRICKLY PAIR Article
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This Month's Magazine
When I am Prime Minister

When I am Prime Minister

Let me begin by sorting out the poor old people.

As things are their health care is rubbish, they can’t afford to keep warm; they’re too scared to go out in case they get attacked by drunk, drugged up hoodies. Stories tell of some being beaten even in care homes; some can’t even afford to eat properly.

Perhaps they should save enough for a short flight out of Britain, ditch their passport and pretend not to speak any English whatsoever, then demand, God I don’t know, say £30,000 a year and a big house with all the handouts they can possibly get. Oh! And claim they have 20 kids and 4 wives who need them to come over to England as well because it is their human right. Simple!

The other idea is to commit a crime, not one, say 20 or 30, then if you’re lucky you would get to live in Her Majesty’s Hotel. Not quite like a 5 star hotel but it’s free with free food and drink, free health care, minimum exercise, big tellies, games, entertainment, light, heat and more human rights than you ever thought possible. Just think no wheelie bins to sort out, no scary trips to collect your pension, no thugs around the corner of a night. Pensioners could fill up a whole prison in no time and make it a real care home.

What about having to live with real criminals? Not a problem, they are still on the outside anyway. On the other hand the paedophiles are in special hotels being treated better than even guests at H.M. Hotels. But not when I am Prime Minister, they are not! They’d have full body paedo-tattoos, including face, and sent out on the streets to entertain the thugs, as the
hoodies get restless, I’d throw them another paedo. I would give them 5 minutes. Simple!

The root of many problems lies with local Councils that say they don’t have enough money. Yes, they do, but they spend it on extra staff to do jobs already paid for. Businesses have to spend extra money to have their windows and outside pavements cleaned, among other things, when the Councils are already paying wages to lazy, stay at home and breed, can’t work, bad back, asthma sufferers, etc. Don’t call it social security, dole money, job seekers, call it wages make them do jobs and get their money like the rest of us. Too harsh? I don’t think so. Those that really can’t work should get a worked out food plan to
make sure children are looked after, supplied ready sorted by supermarkets; proper healthy meals but no actual cash for fags, booze and crap food. Simple!


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The trouble with Britain is that they like to give billions to charities. I think that either something is wrong here or they are run by idiots. Why should a starving child have to walk 20 miles to a clean drinking water well? Why didn’t they build one closer? If a mother watches child after child die of starvation, how come she survives? This is another thing that makes me think something is not right. God! Even an anorexic gets to the non breeding stage. By all means feed the children but give their stupid mother the snip at the same time; she might be eating their portions as well as her own. If she is fit enough to breed she can walk the 20 miles to the well.

MP’s? If they want the job but cannot afford the travel expenses , food, rent etc don’t do the job or sell your house and move closer! What’s all this with second homes paid for with tax payers’ money. Just a simple F… off would do!

Gay marriages. Yes they should have the same rights. Let them have children, let them live in the real world, let them be like everyone else, warts and all. Let them become part of messy divorces, paying maintenance? Why not? Then see how far their pink pound stretches. When one has to stay at home with the kids while the other works all hours God sent. Same rights my a..e! Simple!

Oh, don’t get started on religion! If I go to a Muslim country and cannot wear what I want to as I want within reason, it’s fine as long as they do the same in my country and abide by the law and tradition. Simple!

Till next time keep it simple.



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