Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
Because otherwise theyd have nothing to do in the afternoon!
Whats the capital of Iceland? About 20 dollars!
A director decided to award a prize of 100 for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch.
It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to 10.
A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, Didnt your company hire an accountant a short while ago? The business owner replies, Thats the accountant Ive been searching for.
A guy goes to a girls house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as hes standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as hes looking at it, she walks back in. He says Whats this?
She says, Oh, my fathers ashes are in there. He goes, Jeez... oooh....I...
Yeah, hes too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.
Superman, Santa Clause, and a blonde are walking along and see a dollar lying on the sidewalk. Who picks it up first? The blonde, because the other two dont exist!
I went to see a psychic last weekend and she told me that Id be coming into money. Last night I made love to a girl called Penny! Spooky or what!