Tuesday, 7th April 2020

This Month's Magazine
Lonely? Bitter? Why not get a cat?

Lonely? Bitter? Why not get a cat?

DonÂ’t get me wrong, I like cats; I prefer dogs, but I understand many like cats as any other pet as a companion - Say the Prickly Pair

What annoys me are those who take pets too far. For instance, last month a Marbella magazine focused on the family topic to sell anything from holidays to PlayStations. By the way, whatÂ’s with the PlayStation or the wii thing? A family that plays together stays together? Tell that to Woody Allen!

Then turning the page and you got a certain Belinda Beckett, one of the “I love my pussy more than kids” brigade, harping on about disliking children so much and why we don´t get a cat instead? Well for one thing, there is that disgusting fur ball vomit action that I dislike, good job for her that her mother never held the same beliefs otherwise the rest of us would have nothing new and interesting to read each month (not).

Yes, we know children are hard work and can grow up to be... well not quite as we expected. And yes, sometimes parents are to blame when things go wrong, but what if we stopped having babies? For a start, who would read Miss BeckettÂ’s interesting and witty column? Nobody I suspect. Not much change there then. Do I assume that Miss Beckett is of a certain age? That is, past breeding, judging by some of the phrases she uses ie: romper suits, cola, hotel lobby and gramps? Instead of baby gro, juice, reception and grandparents. Could this possibly be it?


So hereÂ’s the thing, if you are passed breeding age and decided early on that you did not want children, thatÂ’s fine (probably best) as long as you are happy. But donÂ’t then think you have the right to assume that all kids are bad and not worth the effort. As far I can see, God gave us the equipment for that purpose, if some women use that for their own pleasure, itÂ’s their equipment and they can do with it as they please as long as they are happy. But donÂ’t then, when you reach a certain age, get a cat and proceed to tell us that its better than having children.

Anyway, as far as I can see, they are not that different, if they s--t you have to clean them, if they get sick you have to take them to the vet, if theyÂ’re fussy eaters you have to pander to them with silly little tins of special dinner (sad); they ruin household items like sofas, curtain, etc. then they grow and constantly try to get out to breed and end up bringing all manner of dirty smelly creatures home and expect you to be pleased. Oh! And again they do that fur ball vomiting thing. So whatÂ’s the deference? At least I shall have something to show for my hard work and dedication.

All Belinda may end up with is many old pussy and many a lonely nights. So what I am saying is that you should make your choice but donÂ’t then pick and dig at others for theirs. Oh, by the way! Talk about being happy with your choice; some of you may have noticed that Liz Jones (Daily Mail) has had a facelift and then proceeds to tell us why. I always thought it was because her face resembles the man on the moon. No! This man hating feminist wanted to look good. Whom for? Now we know what two faced means, the original one and the new one.

Till next month, choose wisely but be happy and if you choose wrong, change it!

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