A blonde and a brunette are out driving. The brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde. "Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
A redneck father confronted his daughter one night. I dont like that new boyfriend, hes rough and common and bloody stupid with it.
Oh no, Daddy, the daughter replied, Freds ever so clever, weve only been going out nine weeks and hes cured me of that illness I used to get once a month.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, And what starting salary were you looking for? The engineer said, In the about of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.
The interviewer said, Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?
The young engineer sat up straight and said, Wow! Are you kidding? The interviewer replied, Yeah, but you started it.