Tuesday, 7th April 2020

This Month's Magazine
The Cycle of life

The Cycle of life

Flicking through a magazine the other day, it dawned on me that the cycle of life can be summed up from page one to the last page.

At the front, the pages were full of hope, aspirations, personal appearance, fashion, etc. In the middle, fitness and diets, weight watching and beauty products in general.

Just a few pages on, the theme changed to all kinds of surgery and towards the end, insurance and finance, stair lifts, funeral plans and parlours. There was also, more at the front, a section on all kinds of gadgets to please oneself, if you know what I mean; not that I agree with that part, it’s hardly coffee table material unless your fantasy is to be on the coffee table. Should that section not have been more suitably placed between plastic surgery and funeral plans? Sort of when all else fails or you’re old and lonely?

Other publications had “sell your gold” before “invest your money” adverts. Surely, if you invested your money early enough you would not have to sell your gold. Mind you, the way the banks have performed in the last few years, may be you would still have to sell your gold any way after investing. Hey ho! That is:

  1. Invest your money
  2. Sell your gold
  3. To be able to eat (restaurant section, follows).


Where should the keep fit section be? Before or after the “eat out” section? When stressed you might lose weight anyway; after investing and having to sell out your gold you may not need or be able to eat. Otherwise, it’s:

  1. Invest
  2. Sell gold
  3. Eat
  4. Get fit

Mind you, you could plan the life cycle the another way:

  1. Keep well fit & 1A Find rich old man & 1B Look at funeral plans
  2. Wine and dine
  3. I nvest in gold
  4. Plastic surgery
  5. More plastic surgery
  6. Plan funeral (his)

Then you may be able to start your cycle again:

  1. More plastic surgery
  2. Go to the gym
  3. Find fit, young man
  4. Wine and dine (you pay)
  5. Use personal pleasure gadgets (he’ll be out and about with a younger model in your flash car).
  6. Keep an eye on your gold; he will sell it.
  7. Get rid of toy-boy.
  8. Get more surgery. Stay at home, old and lonely with more surgery scars than Frankenstein.
  9. Go to fine wine section
  10. Move on to funeral plans.

So you see life is what you make of it, whichever way you cycle we all end up the same, from page one to the last. It’s ironic really 2 pages – Birth and Death.

Till then keep pedalling because, whichever is the way, we all end up in the same place.

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