A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mmary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnnys mother says, Llets not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.
Curious about sex? replies Mmarys mother. Hes taken her blooming appendix out!
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance. So pushed her over.
I just saw that Harry Ppotter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she wont drink from my glass!
I went to a massage parlour. It was self-service.
If it werent for pickpockets, Id have no sex life at all.
My wifes such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; last night she called me from Manchester.