Sunday, 5th July 2020

This Month's Magazine
Keep taking the tablets

Keep taking the tablets

Sound advice from the Prickly Pair

Can a one pound pill cure obesity? Did you read about this one in the press this week?
No? Well apparently there is a pill that absorbs a certain amount of fat from food and passes it out naturally out of the body but the drawback is that, if you eat too much fat, you will have only moments to get to the loo and apparently the result is orange, oily stools. Jesus! That must hurt!

No, but seriously, I am not convinced anyway. What could possibly be worse than being fat? Well, fat with chronic diarrhoea. Still, all these fat people having to rush often to and from the loo that quickly might just lose them a few pounds.
Still on the question of pills, apparently vitamins do not extend life and may even cause premature death. What does this mean? That we will die earlier but at least we will die healthy? Eating and healthy diet will do the trick, according to the experts. Oh No! I just read there is a global shortage of food.

The next few pages on, in the same newspaper, it says that artificial sperm and eggs may be created within the next five years. For Christ’s sake, we will all have starved to death by then!


What’s happening next? I read that a generation of babies are doomed to a life of crime, educational failure and poverty before they reach the age of three. I am sure that if given a couple of more years to the age of five, they will get better at it and catch up.

Fathers should not be present at the birth of their children, shouts another headline. Well these days most of them were not there at the conception, so why the fuss?

The man in the drug trial case that ended up looking like the elephant man may be in line for a £2m payout. How can that be fair? That’s probably more than John Hurt got for his part in the “Elephant Man” film.

There is also an Acne remedy with no side effects. Like with a spotty, greasy haired, miserable, lazy, grunting, moaning, hormonal teenager you are going to notice any side effects.

Did you read about the man who has had an ASBO slapped on his cock after it was heard to crow up to 400 times an hour? Well I think he should have kept control of his cock and kept it in during daylight hours. But to let it crow about it? Well, what a show off! May be his neighbours were jealous, perhaps they only reared small cocks.

Boris Johnson, the candidate for Mayor of London announces proudly he was the only candidate that speaks Greek. So what! All the others too have a second language, it’s called bo…cks.
Well until next time… keep taking the tablets.

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