JUST A FEW QUICKIES!
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
They told me I was gullible...and I believed them
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
YES IT's TRUE