Wednesday, 15th July 2020

This Month's Magazine
THE PRICKLY PAIR: Have you got it?

THE PRICKLY PAIR: Have you got it?

Have you got that certain something? Can you light up a room with your presence? Do you have the voice of an angel? Well, Can you sing?

No? Never mind you are still up with a chance of making it through to the finals of the “X Factor”.

Has your father, husband or close member of your family died recently? Have you had a near death experience? Been robbed at gunpoint? Can you cry at the drop of a hat? Can you stutter at will? If so, you could still end up with Simon Cowell in Marbella. Apparently you could still win even if you are a reject. Just join the rest of the rejects and form another group. Simple!

Now, while some people are saying that contestants are being ridiculed for the sake of entertainment, I think most of the hopefuls, especially in the turn up to boot camp, don’t have to be in the “X Factor” to have the taken out of them. So yes, in a twisted kind of way, they were born to entertain (the rest of us).

The most annoying one for me, this time around, is that blond tw.t. You know! The one who looks like he was one of Hitler’s Youths. Then you have the young cry baby. If there was ever a reason for smacking kids, he is it.
Then there is the annoying girl who does the splits, someone should tell her that she might stand more of a chance if she opened her legs the other way.


It never ceases to amaze me, how most of the girls manage to wipe away tears so often with nails that long and not damage their eyes.
One thing is for certain, if I ever decided I could sing or anyone in my family decided to encouraged me to take the plunge and join the “X Factor” hopefuls, remind me not to let my dad make my dress. Still, as my dad died many years ago, I could always say he made it before he died, especially for the day I appear on stage and how proud he would be to see me wearing it.

Here’s a question. How many ugly, fat, tone deaf, unable to sing famous pop stars do you know? Exactly! So, unless you happen to be Pavarotti, give it up because although he was fat and ugly at least he could sing.

All this said, deep down, I hope that all the no hopers still continue to believe they could actually make it, even if it’s only for the entertainment of us viewers.

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