Friday, 29th May 2020

This Month's Magazine
Virtual Humour

Virtual Humour

Just a few giggles. Don't miss out on the Quiz, you could win a nice meal for two.

 A new business
A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card sent with the flowers it read “rest in peace” the owner was a little peeved and rang the florist’s to complain.
After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, “Sir I am really sorry about the mistake, but rather then get angry you should imagine this” she told him. “Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today and they have flowers with a card saying, congratulations on your new location!”

Tiff with Riley
“My god! what happened to you?” asked the barman when Kelly hobbled in with a cast on his leg and his arm in a sling.
“I got in a tiff with Riley” he replied.
“But Riley is just a wee fellow” says the barman “he must have had something in his hand”
“That he did” says Kelly “a shovel it was”
“Dear lord, didn’t you have anything in your hand?”
“Aye that I did…..Mrs. Riley’s tit” says Kelly, “and a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!”



Can you Fathom it?
(Provided by, Tony Gates from Fathom’s Sabinillas - looking for free publicity).
Towards the end of a ten round boxing match one of the boxers won by a knockout. It had been a hard fought match and yet not one man had thrown a single punch, how come?


Last months answer: The piece of rope isn’t tied to anything else.


The Quiz Who am I?

Name this person and WIN a meal for 2 (Value €50) at Restaurante El Barlovento, now moved to Hotel Las Camelias, in Torreguadiaro, at entrance to Puerto Sotogrande. Fax: 952 893 146 or e-mail by 5th April. The first correct
answer to be drawn will be the winner.

I was born in Clerkenwell on August 5th 1860 and studied art at the west London school of art, where I eventually became a teacher for a short while.
After my father died when I was just 20 I left there to support my mother and 5 sisters.
To earn more money I became a freelance artist for the London illustrated news, and throughout the 1880’s my work largely consisted of illustrations of English country houses. It is however for my paintings and drawings of cats that I am particularly remembered. After my first published “cat” paintings in 1886, I went on to illustrate over 150 children’s books over the next 30 years. However, in 1924 I was certified insane and sent to a mental hospital in Tooting. My mental health (always uncertain) deteriorated over the next years and I eventually died in an asylum in Napsbury in 1939.


LAST MONTHS WINNER WAS: Mrs. Pope from Manilva - Answer: Jack the Ripper

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