Bearing a grudge
An Elephant was drinking at a water-hole one day, when he spotted a Turtle asleep on a log; he sauntered over to it and after looking at it for a couple of seconds, kicked it clear over the lake.
Why did you do that? asked a passing Giraffe.
Well said the Elephant, I recognized it as the same Turtle that took a nip at my trunk 53 years ago.
Wow! replied the Giraffe what a memory!
Yes said the Elephant Turtle recall
A big Chess tournament was taking place at a posh hotel; after the first days play the competitors were gathered in the hotel foyer bragging and boasting about how well they had played that day.
Well after a few drinks had gone down, they got louder and more boastful, until finally the desk Clarke asked them to leave.
The next day, the hotel manager calls the Clarke into his office to tell him there had been complaints that he had been rude to the customers.
I am sorry sir says the Clarke, but if theres one thing I cant stand, its Chess-Nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Can you Fathom it???
Provided by Tony Gates from Fathoms Sabinillas.
A horse is outside a saloon bar, tied to a piece of rope 5 Metres long. here is a bale of hay 6 Metres away from the horse. f the horse is tied to a piece of rope that is only 5 Metres long, how can it eat the hay whenever it wants?
The answer will be printed in next months edition.
THE QUIZ Who am I?
Name this person and WIN a meal for 2 (Value 50) at Restaurante El Barlovento, now moved to Hotel Las Camelias, in Torreguadiaro, at the entrance to Puerto Sotogrande. Fax: 952 893 146 or e-mail email@example.com by 5th March. The first correct answer to be drawn will be the winner.
Nobody knows the date of my birth or death, because nobody really knew my exact identity. I first came to the publics knowledge on the night of 31st August 1888, after meeting with a lady by the name of Mary Ann Nicholls, this meeting lead to a very busy time for me with the ladies.
I met one Annie Chapman on the 8th September 1888 and a further two ladies on the night of the 30th September 1888, Elizabeth Stride and Catharine Eddowes. After keeping quiet for a while I met my final lady, Mary Jeanette Kelly on the 9th of November 1888.
None of the mentioned women wanted to meet me, but after that first date with Mary Ann Nicholls, the police certainly did! I managed to elude them however, and my identity has been a subject of great debate ever since.
Who am I?
LAST MONTHS WINNER WAS: Mr. Gwilym Rhys Jones (Answer: Thomas Becket).