Sunday, 17th November 2019
ENTERTAINMENT Article
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This Month's Magazine
Virtual Humour

Virtual Humour

Just a few giggles. Don't miss out on the Quiz, you could win a nice meal for two.

 

LIGHTBULBS
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to screw it in almost all the way and the other one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and one to tell a long story about it.
How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and another to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.

THE LORD’S PRAYER
After sales at Kentucky Fried Chicken had been down for a while, Colonel Saunders phones the pope and asks if he would be willing to change the words of the prayer from “Give us this day our daily bread” to “Give us this day our daily chicken” and offers to make a donation to the Vatican of 10 million dollars. The pope refuses saying “But it’s the Lord’s Prayer, I couldn’t possibly change the words”.
Another bad month goes by and again Colonel Saunders phones the pope, “If you change the words give us this day our daily bread, to give us this day our daily chicken, I will donate 50 million dollars to the Vatican” he says.
Again the pope refuses “It’s the Lord’s Prayer and I couldn’t change the words!”
Finally after yet another bad month, Colonel Saunders offers the Vatican 100 million dollars “OK” says the pope, “Leave it with me and I will get back to you” The next day he calls all his Bishops together “I have good news and bad news” he tells them “The good news is KFC are donating 100 million dollars to the Vatican, the bad news is we have lost the Wonder Bread account”


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Name this person and WIN a meal for 2 (Value €50) at Restaurante El Barlovento, now moved to Hotel Las Camelias, in Torreguadiaro, at entrance to Puerto Sotogrande. Fax: 952 893 146 or e-mail editor.costadelsol@webexpressguide.com by 5th February. The first correct answer to be drawn will be the winner.

I was born in 1118 in Normandy the son of an English merchant. My father was a former sheriff of London.
I was educated in Paris, where I studied law. In 1154 I was introduced to the newly crowned king Henry II and formed a strong friendship, so much so, that I became his chancellor.
My big career break came in 1162 when at the king’s insistence and at odds with the Vatican, I became Archbishop of Canterbury. During this time I became embroiled in rows between the church and the crown and as a consequence spent a period of exile in France. Upon my return to England, the previously friendly relationship I had shared with the king was over and in 1170 at the instigation of the king I was brutally murdered on the steps of my own alter.

Who am I?


LAST MONTH’S WINNER WAS: Kath Booth from Bellavista - (Answer: Isombard Kingdom Brunel).