Friday, 29th May 2020

This Month's Magazine
Virtual Humour & Quiz

Virtual Humour & Quiz

Just a few giggles. Don't miss out on the Quiz, you could win a nice meal for two.


A shoplifter was caught red handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewellers, “listen” said the shoplifter “I know you don’t want any trouble either, what do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?”
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip, the crook looks at it and says “this is a little more then I intended to spend, can you show me something a little less expensive?”

An old man goes to church to confess, “Father I am 75 years old and have been married for 50 years, all these years I have been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old”
“When was your last confession?” asks the priest
“Never I am Jewish”
“Then why are you telling me?”
“Father I am telling everybody!”

Why is it so hard for a woman to find a man who’s sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men, already have boyfriends.

Why is it dangerous to let your mans mind wander?
It’s too little to be let out alone.

A new prisoner is placed in a cell with a very old man, “what you in for he”? asks.
The old timer says “look at me I am old and worn out, but I used to live the life of Riley, I wintered on the Riviera, had a yatch, the most beautiful women in the world and ate at the finest restaurants in France”
“What happened?” asks the newcomer
“One day Riley reported his credit cards stolen” 


THE QUIZ - Who am I?

Name this person and WIN a meal for 2 (Value €50) at Restaurante El Barlovento, now moved to Hotel Las Camelias, in Torreguadiaro, at entrance to Puerto Sotogrande. Fax: 952 893 146 or e-mail by 5th November. The first correct answer to be drawn will be the winner.

I am an Irish poet and dramatist, I was born on October 16th 1854 in Dublin to unconventional parents, my mother was a lady and my father a poet and journalist.
I received a BA in 1878 and moved to London. Although I married and had two children, I was sentenced to two years in prison in 1895 for homosexuality (illegal in Britain at that time) I am still seen to this day as one of the greatest wits and raconteurs ever.  Who am I?

LAST MONTH’S WINNER WAS: Mr & Mrs Gates from Manilva - (Answer: Johnny Cash)

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