Tuesday, 23rd April 2019
ENTERTAINMENT Article
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This Month's Magazine

Virtual Humour & Quiz

Just a few items for a giggle. Don't miss on the Quiz, you could win a nice meal for two.

      

Two girls are walking along when they hear... “Psst! Down here!” They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, “Hey, if you kiss me I’ll turn into a world famous drummer and make you both rich and famous!”
The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket. The other girl said, “What did you do that for?” The first replied, “I’m not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!!!”

A woman was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was just singing, humming and giggling all over herself. Her husband asked her why she was so happy.  She said, “I went to the doctor today and he said I have the breasts of a twenty year old.”
The husband then asked, “What did he say about your fifty year old bum?”
“Your name didn’t come up in our conversation.” She replied.

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.  A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.


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THE QUIZ Who am I?

Name this person and WIN a meal for 2 (Value €50) at Restaurante El Barlovento, now moved to Hotel las Camelias, in Torreguadiaro, at entrance to Puerto Sotogrande. Fax: 952 893 146 or e-mail editor@webexpressguide.com by 4th May. The first correct answer to be drawn will be the winner.

I was born on May 24, 1870, near Riebeek-Wes in the British-dominated Cape Colony, a member of a prominent Afrikaner family and was educated at the University of Cambridge in England. During the Boer War (1899-1902) between the British and the Boer (Afrikaner) republics north of the Cape Colony, I fought on the Boer side, but later advocated cooperation with Britain. I was instrumental in securing self-government under British rule for the defeated Boers (1907) and in arranging the merger of the Transvaal and the Orange Free State with Natal and the Cape Colony to form the Union of South Africa (1910). During World War I commanded British imperial forces in East Africa (1916-17), represented South Africa in Britain’s Imperial War Cabinet (1917-18), and helped plan the organization of the League of Nations. As prime minister of South Africa (1919-24) I enjoyed great prestige among Commonwealth leaders but was disliked at home by Afrikaners for my pro-British attitudes, and he antagonized labour by suppressing a miners’ strike in 1922. I was deputy prime minister under J. B. M. Hertzog from 1933 to 1939, when I himself again became prime minister. Over strong opposition from Afrikaner nationalists, who favours neutrality, I brought South Africa into World War II on the Allied side. After leaving office in 1948, I opposed the nationalist government of Daniel F. Malan.

Last month’s winner was:  Paul Pattison of Coín - (ANSWER: Christian Barnard)



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