Tuesday, 18th June 2019
SPORTS & LEISURE Article
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This Month's Magazine

Sports International & The Golf Story

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Sagitta Guineas Festival
30 Apr - 1 May 2005 (annual)
Newmarket Racecourse, Newmarket, England
Sat 2.05pm & Sun 1.30pm

The Sagitta Guineas Festival from Newmarket, the home of English racing, is a must for any race fan. Only Epsom can match its claim to stage two Classic races in the course of one meeting.
The 2000 Guineas, the first of the season’s Triple Crown races, is the highlight of the meeting. Taking place on the Saturday, the race, for three-year-olds, is surpassed in quality only by the Derby. Sunday sees the running of the 1000 Guineas, which competes with the Oaks as the best fillies-only race in the country.

Owen protests innocence
Michael Owen has emphatically denied that he said anything to justifiably incur the wrath of Azerbaijan coach Carlos Alberto.
The Brazilian legend launched into a remarkable diatribe against the England striker after seeing his side lose 2-0 on Wednesday night, branding Owen a ‘midget’ and declaring that he was only fit to clean David Beckham’s boots. His blast came after a misunderstanding regarding comments made by the Real Madrid striker before the game, and now Owen has insisted that he would never act in such a disrespectful manner.
Rembrandt ruled out of National
Trainer Henrietta Knight says that three-time Gold Cup winner Best Mate is over his cough and ready to win his fourth title at Cheltenham.
Knight said after a below-par run in Ireland, antibiotics seem to have done the trick.

Eriksson gets own way over break
The Football Association has confirmed England’s players will get a four-week break before the 2006 World Cup.
England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson said he had received a guarantee for the tournament in Germany and the FA board has stayed true to its word.

 

Becks misses albacete date
David Beckham missed Real Madrid’s trip to Albacete with a thigh injury.
Beckham strained his left thigh in England’s 2-0 win over Azerbaijan.
He rejoined his Real team-mates for training, but was forced out of the session by the pains in his left leg.
Khan secures Kindelan encounter
British teenager Amir Khan has secured a rematch with Mario Kindelan, the Cuban who beat him to an Olympic gold medal in Athens.
Promoter Frank Warren has struck a deal with Amateur Boxing Association chiefs who are bringing the Cubans to Britain next month.

Alonso storms
to provisional pole Renault’s Fernando Alonso produced the fastest lap in first qualifying for Sunday’s Bahrain Grand Prix. Alonso clocked one minute 29.848 seconds but Michael Schumacher was just 0.389 seconds behind, ominously powering the new Ferrari into third.

 

Toulouse 37-9 Northampton
Northampton crashed out of the Heineken Cup as Toulouse booked their place in the semi-finals with a superb display. Despite an encouraging start from the visitors, the French giants soon took control with tries from Frederic Michalak and Cedric Heymans.


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And now for the golf story…

A man goes to the confessional

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

“What is your sin, my child?” the priest asks back.

“Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible.”

“When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest.

“I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”

“Is that when you swore?”

“No, Father.” Said the man. “After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.”

“Is THAT when you swore?” asked the priest again.

“Well, no,” said the man, “You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”

“Is THAT when you swore?” asked the amazed priest.

“No, not yet.” The man replied. “As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball.”

“Did you swear THEN?” asked the now impatient priest.

“No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole.”

“You missed the %#$*& putt, didn’t you?” sighed the priest.



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