- A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: Whats the hold-up? The policeman replies: The Prime Minister is so depressed hes stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So were taking up a collection for him. The lobbyist asks: How much have you got so far? The officer replies: About 40 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning.
Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
Because otherwise theyd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
- The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet.
The cars been repossessed.
The bank returned a cheque to me this morning, stamped: insufficient funds. Is it them or me?
- Whats the capital of Iceland? About 20 dollars.
A man went to his bank manager and said: Id like to start a small business. How do I go about it? Simple, said the bank manager. Buy a big one and wait.
- A director decided to award a prize of 100 dollars for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch.
It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to 10 dollars.
Whats the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The pizza can still feed a family of four.