Monday, 3rd August 2020

This Month's Magazine


Unless you are lucky enough to be able to afford a month long trip on the space shuttle, you are going to come into contact with The World Cup hype, whether you want to or not

Yes, its four years since the last one and just when you thought it was safe to go back to your local, the World Cup is rearing its overpaid, over hyped and completely over the top, ugly head again.

Let’s in fact start with “ugly heads” the world cup has lost some of its credibility over the years as a result of the fashion war being waged between its “sportsmen”. It is this catwalk carry on that leaves many with the impression that the football is of secondary importance, behind the fight to be the prettiest boy at the party.

I will concede that the players in a national squad are representatives for their individual countries and as such should maintain a certain standard of dress and behaviour. But are our “lads” really giving out the sort of image of British manhood that we would like the rest of the world to see?

Although it is not fair to single out the England team, as most of the countries represented at the tournament will be fielding a team made up of at least half a dozen primadonas. The poorer c ountries seem to suffer slightly less with playboy players and this can only be a sad indictment of the way this once great game has become the domain of the overpaid and shallow, modern day dandies.

The reason that the British look back so fondly on the national team of the 1966 world cup (apart from the fact that they actually won) is that every man Jack of that team was the kind of guy you could safely take anywhere.



National pride is a noble thing to possess, but shouldn’t be given blindly, merely for the fact that a team of people are wearing the colours designated to represent that country. Respect and adoration should be earned and English football shouldn’t escape the necessity to prove its capability, before having the hopes of a nation pinned on it.

The same is probably being said all over the world and as we prepare to shout ourselves horse, cheering on our own  collection of expensive mannequins, spare a moment's thought for the England team of 1966. Those men are not remembered for sporting a different “hair do” every week or for wearing their wife’s knickers; they are not remembered for raping girls in nightclubs or for drunken driving, assault and battery, massive sponsorship fees, singing (badly) or acting (again badly).

They are remembered for being sportsmen, for being superb representatives of their country and for winning the bloody thing!

English football will have to prove itself this time around after the performances of the National cricket and rugby teams in recent years; the British do like to see themselves as a sporting nation and on the whole, when the right people are in charge can prove that we do have the ability.

But the British are also very good at accepting sub-standards; you only have to look at our prime minister of the last nine years! And it is this “better the devil you know” attitude that will see us trotting out the same old team of deadbeats on the 10th of June for our first taster of disappointment. But I am magnanimous by nature and I am willing to write a personal  apology to every member of the England Squad; just as soon as they return with the world cup!

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Average score: 5.00/5
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Er we go

Terrific stuff. Have funny looking people without teeth etc been excluded from becoming professional footballers. The beer gut of Bobby Moore, toothless Nobby Stiles, and other ordinary blokes actually WON the FA. The funniest looking England player is also the most talented Wayne Rooney a plain lad with real talent. Message is clear to talent scouts take note the odd looking herbert will win medals and cups not the pretty boy that is only fit sell shampoo.

Rated: 5/5 (12th June 2006)

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