Saturday, 8th August 2020

This Month's Magazine
Virtual Humor

Virtual Humor

Just a few giggles pre-Xmas


Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he ‘ll fall asleep before you finish.

Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

I joined a health club last year, I spent about 400 quid and haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who’ll predict her future:
- Lady, I’m sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.
- Don’t tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!!

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after the 50th  floors says, ‘So far so good!’

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. Sshe glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam.”
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean,” she whispers, “I would do anything.”
He returns her gaze. “Anything?”
“Anything.” His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you... study?”





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